Humans evolved into social beings due to necessity but the question is how much do we truly require human connection? It is evident today that many people form social bonds yet they still feel empty and unsatisfied so clearly we as humans desire more than just a social presence. We have people to surround us but in most cases even that is merely a façade to be accepted by society and ensure we are not viewed as an outlaw or an outsider. We live our lives in a manner that pleases society, so clearly we value the idea of connection but to achieve said idea we form meaningless bonds with others.
Suicide is the aftermath due to lack of human connection and those who are suicidal are often times reassured that there are people who care about them. This raises the question even more as to why does it matter to us so much that other people should care about one another? Somehow there is an enormous value attached to human connection to the point where an individual’s existence is tied to the connections they form with others. It may be possible that at some point of time our existence as a singularity will no longer hold any significant meaning or value.
Human connection from an evolutionary standpoint was tied to our instinct for survival. It was overall more advantageous to travel in packs and carry out tasks in large groups to increase productivity. These forms of human connections however were purely analytical rather than emotional. There were little to no emotional attachments when it came to human connections in the past as the ideal way of living was still based on the concept known by many as the survival of the fittest. Yet over time the existence of social misfortune is a sign that evolution has treated social connection as a necessity rather than a luxury.
Acknowledging human connection as a necessity has surely brought forward many moral dilemmas. An individual is morally obligated to show compassion and portray a sense of affection in regards to the lives of others. This has become the social norm and a lack of emotion between two individuals is faulted to the highest regard. By placing such a huge importance on the concept of being accepted, people today fight for global acceptance further implying the importance of human connection. The idea of equality goes beyond the general rule of equal opportunity for all but instead emphasizes on global acceptance.
Acceptance in this context is commonly known to be a forced mental state to which the individual must come to terms with anything that goes against their initial idea. The formation of global acceptance is deeply rooted to the need of forming human connection and emphasizing ones significance in the eyes of others. This dependency on human connection is far gone from the evolutionary basis from which this concept was derived from. In the past connections were formed by disregarding emotion but today connections are formed based on emotions which further complicates the ordeal.
Why Do We Care?
Biologically human children take the longest time to be fostered and we as humans take a long period of time to form our own morals and beliefs. During this process we are highly dependent on others but even after reaching a point of independence many are unable to accept the idea of loneliness or isolation. At the end of the day, we are programmed to cling onto meaningful connections and form intimate bonds with others on the basis of not wanting to let go of the idea of codependency. Acknowledging loneliness, to many is equivalent to losing the meaning of life.
Our will to live is built on the guilt of dependency and without that connection we would willingly end our existence. We have not only built our worth based on the perception of others but have also taken into consideration our significance in the lives of others when it comes to assigning value to ourselves. If we recognize that as an individual we are worthless in the eyes of others and that society as a whole will continue to thrive without our existence, we will ultimately break down. It is humorous in a sadistic way how we have been hard wired to live for the sake of connection with others yet we are barely connected to our own consciousness.
We care because we are taught to care by the social constructs that have been built over the years. More and more people have created the false notion that human connection is something everyone should strive for and that it is a necessity that should be provided at all costs. Ignorance that is not ill intended in any way is seen to be more than a rude gesture and is viewed as a voluntary harmful act. Over the years the portrayal of society is seen to be deeply rooted into an individual to the point of collectiveness winning over individuality. The problem with collectiveness is that our happiness and wellbeing as an individual is up to others.
The constant urge of wanting to be accepted for every miniscule thing will blow out of proportion in due time. There will come a point to which people will no longer be allowed to hold opposing views without being incarcerated. Even now it is becoming more evident that those who choose to ignore or hold platonic views about a topic are conceived as non-supporters altogether. Being platonic is no longer an option on social media, those who choose not to speak out and express human connection towards others are not only labeled as ignorant but also hateful.
This is an interesting approach as in due time it may be a lawful obligation for an individual to express human connection with others on a publicly accepted issue. In the past, actions or words addressed towards an individual can be classified as bullying or hate speech but today silence has also been placed into those categories. This further cements the idea that being against human connection may in fact be an impossibility in modern times. Human connection has been embraced as a tool of power that choosing to ignore it can be acknowledged by many as a power play or an act of malice.
Losing Connection
It’s easy to lose the people we love and care for and this ultimately brings forward different consequences for every individual. Losing connections is more common than gaining connections and this ruthless ratio is what hammers in the reality we live in. If so much time goes into forming meaningful connections, what is the next step having lost those connections? Is there even a steady path to recovery and even so how long are we able to cope with this endless cycle because at the end of the day there is no benchmark or means to measure a genuine relationship.
Imagine spending years building something only to watch it crumble to the ground at the end, this might just be the true test we all face in life. Failure in general is painful and that pain is more prominent when the lost is something personal. With the constant probability of failure, the true concern is trying to derive if there is even a point in forming connections if the lost is so unbearable at times. With this in mind, we as humans still strive to form meaningful connections but the only difference being there is no longer complete transparency in any relationship. Boundaries are made and walls are built up as a defense mechanism to shield a potential heartbreak.
“Hearts are made to be broken.”
― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis
If this scenario continues to occur, there will be no true human connection but merely false encounters our entire life. Every action or interaction is merely a requirement set by social standards but the reality still remains that there is no true connections in society. However if the cycle continues on a tangent then there will be a breaking point eventually. Walls can hold so much but it is only a matter of time before someone throws in the towel and calls it quits. Solidarity is a difficult thing to cope with and many argue it is the final step before the end. Human connection has ingrained tremendous importance to the point where solitude is the true punishment of existence.
Isolation
Having lost human human connection ultimately leads to isolation and this is seen to be the leading cause for some of the most unforeseeable outcomes. Isolation brings up a whole new personality in us and it can be analyzed to be an almost animalistic reaction. The reason for this is we were never wired to be creatures of solitude rather we thrive on connection and meaning. The reason to live is basically synonymous with the idea of forming connections with others and establishing meaning in society. The inability to mark our presence in society is seen to be a failure when it comes to our existence.
The idea of living for the sake of others has been embedded in our consciousness due to the overwhelming praise towards those who are able to contribute to society. The idea of isolation and being detached from society is painstaking and takes away the general notions of life altogether. Isolation forces us to face our inner demons rather than run away from our worries by shielding troubles away with a societal presence. With no where or nobody to run to, there is no longer a way out when it comes to addressing our internal struggles. For many this may be too much and they ultimately falter under pressure.
Human connections for many is a distraction that allows them to escape a painful reality. Surrounding oneself with others is much like a security blanket that hides away our flaws and inabilities. Being alone raises too many questions and this has caused us to live up to societal standards in order to be accepted. Ultimately we do all we can to avoid isolation and live in our own comfortable bubble. This is the sad reality as we try to compensate for our insecurities by throwing ourselves into what is considered to be the normality of societal living that idolizes human connection.
Breaking Free
Human connections may just be the shackles that hold us forever regardless of the fact that we are becoming more disconnected on a genuine level. The reality still remains that we thirst for human connection even it is built on falsehood as we merely desire the image that surrounds connection. Our impending doom may be the exorbitant value we assign when it comes to the importance of human connection. There may be some benefits to pull away and embrace some true solitude to prevent an overwhelming dependency on others. Human connection should in no way define our existence as this will ultimately lead to our own downfall.
On some levels there may not be a way to live with no sense of connection as we are bound to seek for meaning in our life. Human connection has many benefits if built on the proper basis so at times there may not be a reason to break free at all. The important thing is recognizing the legitimacy of those connections and establishing the importance they hold over the overall prospects of our life. Human connection should not be seen as a necessity but merely a luxury as this will allow us to live a happier life even if human connection is void during tough times.
The notion of others caring and this being a significant factor in existence has long been the social standards. The need to please others or construct a socially acceptable way of life in order to form bonds has been the norm for many people but it may be time to take a more foreign approach. Human connection should not be the grounding factor in our lives that present a reason for us to live. It should just be a casual aspect of our life that holds no overbearing power in our day to day activities. The importance put on human connection has been blown out of proportion so it may be time to reevaluate its importance in our life.
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